Beautiful Boy
You were made
from me -
from the minutiae of me
you became,
from within me.
Yet you are not me
And I cannot be you.
I cannot and will not
will you to be
what I would have
you be.
I cannot keep you
safe,
make you live
one way
or another.
I cannot stop you running
over the edge,
if that is where
you need to go.
No
I cannot clip your wings,
shield you from the things
I know
so many poisons, smiling thieves,
lies, stealthy disappointment and slow
near fatal blows.
But I cannot hold you
high up
on our little ledge
away from life’s mess.
I must let you dive down
into it all,
maybe drown
in it, maybe become it
lose yourself, get hurt
get to know yourself.
I must trust you
to go under
disappear from view
and make it back
better.
Or just you.
because isn’t that
the start
the end
and the whole point of it.
©️Anna Murzyn April 2024
For my son – remarkable, funny, tenacious survivor – beautiful boy through the ugliness and already so bigger, smarter and braver than me.
Which is definitely the point of it.
Explicit Lyric Warning for Bliss N Eso above (current top of my son’s Spotify most liked) but then what teen boy doesn’t enjoy the E version or doesn’t care either way, and what parent has more important things to worry about these days.
I’d be more worried if he didn’t have a favourite track, track list or 500! 😎
